I heard on a tea podcast—yes, I'm into that sort of thing—just today that one of the things that happens as we shift into adulthood is that we start to experience growing a past. I like that phrasing. For me, each year of adding to the layers of past situations, experiences and feelings make them more complicated and difficult to untangle. When I'm driving, making coffee or just generally spacing out, these feelings can easily create heavy spirals that are hard to snap out of, and if I let myself, I can be affected by them for some time afterward.
A couple of things that have helped me: I try to remember that I am not my thoughts or emotions, and my underlying reasons for having them can be valid, understandable, and completely unhelpful. (Always good to examine if this is the case.) I also remember that I don't want future me to look back on that moment and find I wasted entire hours on mentally shadowboxing with myself. I'd rather have done something meaningful.
Also, a friend of mine is fond of saying that to be creative is to develop confusion tolerance. I take that to mean that being blind to the full picture is often part of the human condition, so we might as well try to marvel at the world's complexities, including our participation in it.
What a wonderful response. Ugh, yes, growing a past ... I guess I'm at that age now when I'm noticing it. The heavy spirals that are hard to snap out of get me too while going about the quiet things in my day. I've been keeping really busy lately, and that has helped. I'm hoping that longterm positive busyness will help my brain permanently break the habit of returning to certain subjects.
"Confusion tolerance." Yes, I definitely understand that. Having a strong right brain means you're used to many possibilities meandering through your thoughts, sometimes endlessly. You learn to embrace that sense of constant questioning.
Oh yeah. I've very much been there.
I heard on a tea podcast—yes, I'm into that sort of thing—just today that one of the things that happens as we shift into adulthood is that we start to experience growing a past. I like that phrasing. For me, each year of adding to the layers of past situations, experiences and feelings make them more complicated and difficult to untangle. When I'm driving, making coffee or just generally spacing out, these feelings can easily create heavy spirals that are hard to snap out of, and if I let myself, I can be affected by them for some time afterward.
A couple of things that have helped me: I try to remember that I am not my thoughts or emotions, and my underlying reasons for having them can be valid, understandable, and completely unhelpful. (Always good to examine if this is the case.) I also remember that I don't want future me to look back on that moment and find I wasted entire hours on mentally shadowboxing with myself. I'd rather have done something meaningful.
Also, a friend of mine is fond of saying that to be creative is to develop confusion tolerance. I take that to mean that being blind to the full picture is often part of the human condition, so we might as well try to marvel at the world's complexities, including our participation in it.
What a wonderful response. Ugh, yes, growing a past ... I guess I'm at that age now when I'm noticing it. The heavy spirals that are hard to snap out of get me too while going about the quiet things in my day. I've been keeping really busy lately, and that has helped. I'm hoping that longterm positive busyness will help my brain permanently break the habit of returning to certain subjects.
"Confusion tolerance." Yes, I definitely understand that. Having a strong right brain means you're used to many possibilities meandering through your thoughts, sometimes endlessly. You learn to embrace that sense of constant questioning.